Thursday, March 26, 2009

Just a ramble

I am running a girls group at school and it is going well. As previous posts, one girl has connected with me and spoken about her personal issues in relationships, I thought back to me when I was that age and wondering if we were all that dramatic when it came to us and talking about boys. I remember I was. I was crazy for one guy and thought that the sun shone out of his ass...boy was I crazy back then...still am:) I told her that it doesn't get any easier with relationships because as you get older it can become more intense, like my previouse relationship, finally a few years after pain and rejection and going through it again over facebook. I realized that I was just a person who was a rebound and someone that was used to get way and start new, I was cheated on and in the end treated really badly especially in the situation that occured near the end. She thought that once you get married, relationships would be easier, I laughed and said it is actually harder, especially when kids are in the picture. Speaking with her, and looking back I would have done a lot of things different in relationships in love and friendship as well as developing a bit more of a back bone. It's werid how all of a sudden one conversation brings back floods of memories and regrets.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Feeling of rejection

As per previous post, I met with this young girl again as I am now counseling her once a week. We spoke about the feeling of rejection. She spoke about how she liked the new boy in the school and he didn't like her. After she left I started thinking to my high school days and the guys that I liked and those who didn't reciprocate the feelings. I then thought about the relationships that hurt me the most and ones that still are tender today. Even though I am married to a great man, sometimes the hurt just does not go away. Thanks to facebook some of those hurts were able to be fixed as I have been in touch with some of those people and they apologised...even after all these years they knew they were jerks. But, facebook has not been all the positive, I was in touch with this one person, who was in touch with me for a couple of years and then all of a sudden there was no contact, no explanation why, even told others not to keep in touch with me. I never did anything, never said anything yet, I was treated like crap. What bothers me the most is that there was no explanation and the more I wanted one the more upset I got. I know its silly but when someone cuts you off without a reason, one day they are asking for advice about something, telling you about the birth of their first born, thanking you for changing their lives and then the next day they cut you off, it just does not make sense to me and that hurts more than the hurt that the person cause some years before. I know why it bothers me and that is because I don't know why. Its like they did it on purpose, its like I got rejected all over again.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A big mish mash.. may not make sense

Wow, it has been a while since I wrote on here, I don't really write much as I don't think many people read it, then again maybe I should write stuff to just get it out. Many times I look at friends blogs and wish I could be like them writing in them all the time and reaching out to the bloggers of the world. Then I think, I don't know how. Anyways, lately I have been thinking a lot about the past, this is due to young girl I work with who is going through the adolecent years and she has gone through a lot in the past few months, her best friend left the school and her boyfriend dumped her. Wow, I remember those teenage love days. They were the worst, you thought your life would be over and could never move on...and sure enough you did. I have been thinking a lot about a couple of past relationships and it makes me think of all kinds of different relationships I had in the past with friends and romantic ones.

There is one relationship that I still can't get over, there was never any closure, there is a lot of anger and resentment on my side and a lot of unanswered questions and when I asked some of these questions all of a sudden contact stopped. When there is a lot of hurt there its hard to let go I guess.

I think of friendships that ended but somehow always seemed to repair themselves, either through one of us letting go of out stubbornuss, through mutual friends and even through facebook.

Everyone you meet has a reason that there their, Good and for the bad. I told this to this young girl who listened to me as I blabbed all the stuff your suppossed to say and some of my own stories at the end she said she felt better and was happy knowing it happens to everyone. As she walked away, I thought to myself wait till your older and your relationships get more instense and those end....